The King's Speech and Coram Deo counseling

The King's Speech was another movie my hubby and I watched recently that has left me with some refreshing thoughts in an area unexpected to myself. In the middle of the movie I couldn't help exclaiming, "This is good counseling indeed!". Truly, it was not difficult to notice that Lionel was not just a speech therapist, he was acting as a counselor. I am not trying to say that his counseling was biblical/Christian in the classical sense of this word, but his approach had some REALLY good elements that were a refreshing reminder to me and I think can benefit any Christian who has a friend that needs help with a problem. So, here's what I gleaned from the irresistible figure of Lionel Logue.
1. I found it strikingly true in the situation with the King's stammer that when a person is stuck in a bothersome problem his initial desire is nothing but to get immediate relief for the immediate/surface issue. "Just fix my speech, it is making my life miserable". "Don't dig, don't probe, don't get too personal, just stick to your business, which is the business I prescribe". This attitude is very natural for us in our fallen human state. I want to be happy, but don't touch the roots. In light of this reality I really admire how Lionel did not buy into his patient's agenda even under the great pressure of his intimidating "kingly" position. It should be true, I think, of every good counselor. Yes, a counselee will come to you with his own agenda, but you need to realize that there is an agenda higher than his that you need to stay faithful to, no matter what, even if you are facing a king or even if you are going to lose your counselee after the very first meeting. Because ultimately you are serving the Greater King, and He is the Only One who can help your counselee/friend, and true help cannot happen by brushing over the surface and without digging into the roots of the immediate issue. You will never be a good soul helper if you remain a slave of your counselee's agenda or won't be bold to make yours clear.
2. I love the moment in the movie when Bertie (the King) finds out that Lionel has no formal training and credentials and the King is full of indignation at the "impostor's" insolence and presumption in taking upon himself the role of a counselor. And I love the fact that Lionel is not intimidated by the accusations and boldly defends his calling. The scene makes me chuckle because that's how we often feel living at the age of "professional therapy". We make so much of education, training, degrees, licenses, certificates. We are looking for an expert and his couch. I am sure education can be helpful, but we need to realize that CORAM DEO (before the face of God) it is not necessary and can even be a hindrance (any trained counselor knows the pitfalls of the trust in his professional knowledge). Every Christian has a license to counsel from the living God, he has the all-sufficient Wonderful Counselor at his side and the all-sufficient counseling manual in his hands. Moreover, it's not just a license, it's a call to obey for every Christian, not a prerogative of experts. Let us be faithful to this call with great confidence and no fear, no matter how inadequate we may feel for the task. Let us not be intimidated by the complexities of human problems. Let us not be like the Greeks who seek after human wisdom (1 Cor. 1:22). But let us trust in the all-sufficiency of Scripture and Christ crucified, Who is adequate for the most complicated human issue that bears the most sophisticated psychological label (1 Cor. 1:23-31). God prefers the untrained and the unwise of the world if they are humble and eager to learn from Him. Lionel's platform for counseling was his experience with the soldiers during the war that had taught him so many things, not just some head knowledge. This is so true for us, Christians. Our experience of CORAM DEO living, our wrestling with personal issues and trial and suffering, our experience of victories and failures and the lessons learned in the heat of the battle, our personal vision of Christ crucified - all this arms us to be the best possible helpers for the people God sends our way (2 Cor. 1).
3. From the very start of his relationship with the King, Lionel made a point to enter his patient's world and he insisted on "being on the same level" with him, in spite of all the worldly barriers and rules of propriety. He insisted on being called "Lionel" and on calling the future King of England "Bertie". I admire his boldness and I think it illustrates a very important principle of good counseling. Just like Christ stepped down into our humanity through incarnation, we should be bold and willing to enter the world of the one we are trying to help by putting ourselves on the same level with that person - on the level of a fallen, weak, struggling human being. Lionel was willing to become the King's soul friend, and that's how we should see our helping role. Not an expert or a doctor, but a vulnerable and transparent friend willing to be "with you" through all the mess, to the end. Ultimately what made the King's speech a success was the fact that he was looking into the encouraging face of a true friend the whole time. Our role is even greater than that. In helping people we are called to be CORAM DEO friends. A CORAM DEO friend is the one who boldly and tenderly takes you by hand and brings you before the wonderful face of Jesus on the Cross, the Ultimate Friend, for healing and wisdom and victory. Our human friendship is but a reflection and imitation of the true Friendship of Jesus, of His compassion and faithfulness. And it better be a good and truthful reflection. Ultimately the counselee needs not me, but a gaze into the loving face of Jesus, His Savior and Friend.
4. I really admire Lionel's humility and readiness to admit his mistake as a counselor, ask for forgiveness and wait in hope for the restoration of the relationship. At the moment of passion Lionel got carried away and pushed too hard, when the counselee was not ready to face some truths. I think every CORAM DEO counselor will have moments like that and should handle them with great humility.
5. There is no counselor without good, probing questions. I think Lionel was right on target when he focused on the immediate emotions the King was experiencing (anger) and he asked him really good questions about his anger. Our most powerful emotions are the best doors into our hearts, and a good counselor will seek to enter through these doors by asking good questions.
6. I also appreciate the fact that Lionel understood very well the connection between our physical problems and our hearts. He learned from experience that stammer is never simply a mechanical problem, it involves the whole man and starts with the heart affections. Truly, out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks (or refuses to speak), as the Good Book says. Ultimately our heart passions can deeply affect the tension in our muscles and the overall health of our bodies. Vice versa, our physical health can affect our spiritual life in big ways, too. The one who recognizes this precious reality of how fearfully and wonderfully we are made by God is on the way of becoming a good helper to others.
7. The last and not the least - the importance of hope at the very first meeting. Bertie meets Lionel for the first time and presents his painful and embarrassing problem. He is full of skepticism, feels uneasy and doesn't have much hope after years and years of futile struggles. Lionel does a brilliant thing. He makes a point to prove to Bertie that his full speech restoration is possible by recording his voice against musical background. When at the end of the meeting Bertie is overcome by anger and despair and is determined to leave and never come back, Lionel gives him the record as a gift, almost like putting his foot in a slamming door at the last moment. The record does its work - some time later at one of the hopeless moments Bertie decides to listen to the record, regains hope and comes back to counseling. Lionel's wisdom in this matter is hard to overestimate. True hope is what your counselee lacks most when he comes to you for help and true hope is what he needs most, especially at first when he is completely overwhelmed and crushed by the immensity of his problem and his failures in trying to solve it. Do not let your counselee leave his meeting with you without pointing true hope to him in God's Word and the face of His Son, even if you have to resort to a clever trick to do it.
I feel like I could go on and on, but let me finish by saying, Thank you, Lionel, for your counseling wisdom and for reminding me of my calling. Thank you, God, for the movie that points to Your realities.